


Colemalion

by TrekFaerie



Series: Dragon Meme: Kinkquisition [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Coming of Age, Families of Choice, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2855921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFaerie/pseuds/TrekFaerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor asks Josephine to watch after a newly humanized Cole. She goes above and beyond the call of duty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It started as a fill for this: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/10859.html?thread=45954923#t45954923
> 
> And then it went a little out of my control.

Usually, when Inquisitor Cadash enters Josephine's office, she's loud and friendly, immediately stating her business. When one particular visit starts off with her being so quiet that Josephine took five minutes to notice her, she starts to worry. A quiet Inquisitor never meant anything good.

"Do you need something, my lady?" she asks, tone light to mask her unease.

"No. Yes. Well..." She sighs. "I don't need anything. This isn't about me."

A twinge of concern. "Is there something wrong?" she asks. "Is someone hurt? Is someone in danger? Should I call for Leliana?"

"No! No, nothing like that. It's... Cole."

Josephine hadn't really interacted with the spirit boy, at least not since he first appeared on the war table. She'd heard that some incident was causing him to become more human, but she hadn't thought much of it at the time. She didn't really think much of him at all.

"He's really... not that great at being human," Cadash says. "He's been a spirit for such a long time, he forgets that there are things people need to do to live comfortably-- Ancestors, he doesn't even seem to _understand_ half the things I've tried to get him to do! I'm worried he'll just... accidentally let himself waste away, and I won't know until it's too late, and--"

"Breathing is also something people need to do, Inquisitor," Josephine says, not unkindly. The Lady Inquisitor's unwavering devotion to her friends is one of her more attractive qualities.

Cadash pauses, grins, inhales deeply, and continues.

"I know this really isn't in your job description, but..." She rubs the back of her neck awkwardly. "Could you just watch out for him? Make sure he's eating? And remembering to sleep in an actual bed and not just on the floor of the tavern? I'd do it myself, but..."

"Of course, Inquisitor."

She pauses, blinking slowly. "Really?" she asks. "Just like that?"

"I don't see why not. If I can handle a dozen Orlesian noblemen," she says, "I can certainly handle a single young man."

"You don't feel insulted that I'm basically asking you to be a babysitter?"

"I serve at the pleasure of the Inquisition," she says. "Therefore, I serve at the pleasure of you. Anything you ask, within reason, I would be happy to do."

Cadash visibly shivers. "Don't say it like that," she says, turning to leave. "You'll drive me mad if you say it like that..."


	2. Chapter 2

Josephine's first task as Cole Babysitter involves actually finding him.

It's harder than she'd thought it'd be. She had been under the impression that Cole spent all of his free time skulking around the top floor of the tavern-- not true, in fact! No one there had seen him all day, though Krem insisted he'd seen him last night, drinking with Varric. His words hadn't assured her any, and she'd spent a good hour looking around and trying to not look as nervous as she felt.

And then...

 

_"Oh," Cullen had said, when she mentioned her issue while walking to the war room, "he's not in the tavern. He's in the battlement next to the tavern. There's a door."_

_She stopped short, staring at him. "I wasn't aware you kept such good watch over him," she said. "Perhaps the Inquisitor asked the wrong person."_

_"It's nothing like that. One of my soldiers came across him when he was cleaning it out-- scared him half to death, really. Apparently, he's dead asleep, curled up near some ropes. It can't be comfortable..."_

_"Yes, I've been told that tends to happen." She sighed. "I'm worried I've taken on too big of a task. But, I can't just reject a personal request of the Inquisitor..."_

_Cullen put a broad hand on her shoulder, grinning. "I'll take care of this," he said, jerking his head towards the war room. "You go find your sleeping prince. Just, for everyone's sake, try to wake him up with something other than a kiss."_

_(Leliana asks him, later, why Josephine had whapped him with her clipboard before leaving. He feigns ignorance of the whole event.)_

 

Josephine can see why Cole had given the soldier such a shock: when Cullen had described him as "dead asleep," he'd been more accurate than expected. It's an unnatural position for a body to be in, more sleeping cat than sleeping boy, and the only signs of life are slow, steady breaths that hardly move the lithe body at all.

She clears her throat, but there's no sign that he's heard her. She tries again, with similar results. Finally, stepping delicately over the boxes and construction materials littering the floor, she crouches next to him and shakes his shoulder. "Ser Cole?"

He wakes slowly, lidded eyes looking uncomprehending out at the world around him. He focuses on her and frowns slightly. "Josephine," he says, and she immediately realizes that titles are not something that will be in use between them. "Why are you up here? There are no diplomats up here."

"The Inquisitor asked me to check on your wellbeing," she says. "Have you not been assigned quarters, Cole?"

"Never needed any, 'til now..." He sits up, rubbing his eyes with his fists. "I never needed to sleep before... The tavern is too loud. Too many voices and minds."

"I'm sure I can find a spare room in a less populated area of the castle for you." She stands and dusts off her dress. "If you need anything at all, I will do what I can to provide it for you. I am at your disposal."

"That's such a weird way of putting it," he says, in that strange, song-like way of his. " _At my disposal_. As if I'd dispose of you afterwards."

"That is, ah, certainly one way of looking at things, Cole."

"I'd never dispose of you. That would be wrong. You're nice."

"Thank you, Cole. I appreciate the... sentiment?"

A silence fell over them. Cole fiddles with his shoe.

"Now, Cole," she says, hands clasped in front of her. "Have you eaten?"

He looks up at her, genuinely confused. "Why?" he asks. "I just did it yesterday."

She can feel every nerve in every inch of her body twitch. _Just what have you gotten yourself into, Josephine_?


	3. Chapter 3

Cole sits on the kitchen counter, idly kicking his legs back and forth. Josephine, having corralled the nervous cooks out of the room, buzzes about the room, 

(Having wondered why they were so apprehensive of leaving, she asks them later. She's told that Cole is known to them only as a thief; though she tries to talk him out of it, he'll never drop his habit of swiping candied nuts as gifts for the Inquisitor.)

Her main obstacle is the (almost incomprehensible) fact that Cole _doesn't enjoy eating_.

"Eating is one of the most quintessentially human activities," she says. "So much of our culture is centered around the act, so many conflicts have been ended or averted through the breaking of bread. You shouldn't be so dismissive of it."

"It's so boring. It's just moving your mouth without talking."

"I believe there are quite a few people around Skyhold who would appreciate that..." He looks at with such a confused expression that she immediately regrets the slight. "Eating is also a requirement for living. If you are going to become more human, you are going to have to eat regularly."

" _Ick_."

"-- And in order for the process to be as painless as possible, you ought to find foods you actually enjoy. Now, let's see, how about--"

"I can't eat meat," he says. "There's still something there, something I can feel. It hurts."

That actually gives her pause. "Really?" she asks. "Are you certain? Perhaps it just wasn't cooked properly."

"I tried that," he says, sounding a little sullen. "The Iron Bull roasted a boar, but he stopped after I told him I could hear its dying screams."

Josephine gives a rack of lamb a long, hard look.

"Alright, no meat. How about... An apple. Apples are not known to scream." She picks a green one out of a nearby basket, shines it on her sleeve, and gives it to him. He holds it like it's a delicate thing, turning it over in his hands. She smiles slightly. "You won't know if you like it unless you--"

"Cold floors, dark halls, warm breeze. Mama will be upset if she finds us out of bed, but Antoine is hungry and Yvette wants adventure..."

Her breath catches in her chest. "You..."

"Green apples were his favorite." He looks up from the apple, at her, through his hair. "They still are. He thinks of you when he eats them."

She used to sneak down into the kitchens with her younger siblings after bedtime, stealing food to bring up to their rooms and celebrate their own cleverness with. The apples were always on the shelf; before Antoine was tall enough to reach himself, she always got one for him.

"Your mother knew. She told the servants to hide the sweets, but not to intervene. She wanted you to think you'd outsmarted everyone. And how to hide a secret on your face. After the fifth time, she was never certain again."

She had learned the Game so young.

He takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

"It tastes like summer."


	4. Chapter 4

"Your son is sitting in the tavern, covered from head to toe in mud and darkspawn blood." Leliana is smirking, and the smallest, _smallest_ piece of her heart hates her for it. "People are starting to complain. You might want to go deal with it."

Josephine stalks outside and hails a servant, who looks so frightened that she realizes she has a very sour expression on her face. She curses herself for the slip and trains herself back to normal. "Please, draw a bath in my quarters," she says. "And ask Commander Cullen if he has any extra clothing. Tell him it's very important."

She hails another servant when that one leaves. "Would you mind collecting Ser Cole from the tavern and bringing him to me?" she asks. "Please, be gentle. But, also avoid touching him directly. Just a precaution."

Meanwhile... She knows that lavender-scented bath liquid she bought in Val Royeaux is somewhere in her quarters. She just needs to find it.

 

A part of her had hoped that Cole would, at least, immediately understand the logic behind a bathtub. It was a foolish hope, she soon realized.

"How does anyone ever get clean," he asks, struggling to pull his shirt over his head, "if all they ever do is sit in water?"

"Bathing is a more active process than what you seem to be imagining, Cole," she says. She takes his clothes once they're off his body, and puts them into a neat pile. They're too far gone to be salvaged; perhaps the tailor who services the Inquisitor (who notoriously destroys at least three full suits of clothing every time she leaves Skyhold) could manage something. Cole certainly couldn't wear Cullen's hand-me-downs forever.

She averts her gaze for modesty until he's in the tub. When she looks again, he's leaning on the rim of the tub, head on his arms, looking up at her expectantly.

That's how Cullen finds them: Cole, mostly hidden under soap suds, with Josephine kneeling on a stool behind him, sleeves of her dress pulled up, aggressively washing Cole's hair. He can't help the small smile that forms, and he leans against the door frame, watching for a short while.

"Warm, maternal," Cole says, mostly to himself, but everyone can catch his words. "Is this the same woman with the clipboard and the plan, always with a plan? I can hardly believe it..."

Josephine rolls her eyes and glares at Cullen, who grins and shrugs.

"He thinks you have very lovely forearms," Cole says, far louder than he needed to. "He thinks it's unfair to the world to keep them hidden behind ruffles."

"Commander!" She looks at him with an expression of (what he hopes to be) mock horror on her face. Before he rushes out of the room, he catches Cole's expression.

He's smirking. The little shit.


End file.
